Oh Deer. And crazy people.

The trip home for Christmas got a little more exciting than I had planned when a deer jumped in front of the car. Poor, sweet doe. She died instantly – thank God – because I would have been a weepy, shaking, miserable mess otherwise.

We were following Google maps directions which – for the second time – got us hopelessly lost. Grrrrrrr… Google maps used to be spot on perfect. I don't know what to say except I am losing faith in them. I know it was not me being directionally-challenged because the cop who came to do the accident report could not figure out the directions either. Sigh…

Anyway, we were on a dark, windy, back road through the woods. We didn't have time to see the doe, let alone react. She just suddenly ran head-long into the front driver's side of the car. Time gets all weird in those kinds of things… seems to both drag and fly by simultaneously. I also go into a weird out-of-body type state. I am very calm and automatically go into problem-solving mode.

It was a bit entertaining because we could not tell the cops how to find us because we were lost. We kept telling them where we *thought* we were – ha ha – and they kept saying that couldn't be right. Went back and forth like that for a little while.

While we were waiting for them a few nice people stopped to ask if we needed help. We were fine, not hurt at all, and the car was drivable so we said we were ok. Actually, it's a testament to Subaru that things went as they did because it probably could have been much much worse. I don't remember feeling any impact when the deer hit us. I knew it had happened because we saw it flash in the headlights, but it did not feel like a crash or a collision. Some body damage but not much.

Then one crazy person stopped. This part is like a surreal dream. I still can't believe it happened. Seriously. It's like someone transported us into a movie or a nightmare for five minutes then back to the real world again.

A car stopped behind us. I heard someone yelling to us so I got out to talk to him. I thought he was stopping to see if we were ok like all the nice normal people in the world. But noooooooooo… The conversation, as best as I can remember:

Him: Did you just hit that deer?
Me:  Yes. But we're ok. The cops are on their way.
Him: Hot damn!

He proceeds to go to his trunk, get out a baseball bat, go over to the deer and start pounding on it. Really whaling on it. Hard. Like four or five or six times. NOT to put it out of its misery because it was dead. Like a crazy saddistic person taking joy out of hurting another creature. Like the kid who pulls the legs off flies or sets cats on fire. Like the school bully. Like the kind of person who grows up to beat the crap out of their kid and kick their dog. Like that.

Me:  Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! What are you doing? Stop!
Him: M***** F***** M***** F***** M***** F*****
Me:  Stop! I called the police. They're on their way.
Him:  M***** F***** M***** F***** M***** F*****

When he finally stopped after what seemed like an eternity he just put the bat in the car got in and peeled off fast. Not fast enough though because I got his license plate number and gave it to the cop. I'll show him who's a M**** F*****.

Anyway, the cop was great. Very nice. Very helpful. Helped me get all the info I needed to file an insurance claim and even helped me figure out how the heck to get back on the road to my mom's. The rest of the trip was uneventful – thank God. I take the car in tomorrow morning to get an estimate and get fixed soon after (I hope).

I should also give a shout out to the Esurance reps who were AWESOME. They were super fast with the communication, no hassles on the coverage. Easy as pie and so helpful and friendly. Big kudos to them.

Pictures of the car the next day:

So that's in. A crunched in fender, shattered headlight glass, small dent, and jacked up hood. We were very very lucky and thankful it wasn't worse.

My brother and I, being the spiritual new agey people we are, decided that one of two things happened:
1) We hit the deer because she was suffering from some terribly painful disease like cancer and we hit her to put her out of her misery so she wouldn't suffer anymore. Or…
2) We were destined to get in a terrible crash later and the deer sacrificed herself to keep us safe.

Either way, we did a lot of praying for that deer to be in heaven and saying thanks for our safety.

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17 thoughts on “Oh Deer. And crazy people.

  1. That really is surreal. I'm happy to hear you're okay. It's good you reported that freak to the police. He may be taking out his lame personal issues out on live animals as well. What a jerk.
    If it makes you feel any better, there's a new technology out – read about it in grad school (and saw it being tested in Minnesotta – my friend and I drove to South Dakota to do black footed ferret research) this new technology is like infa red cameras, they detect large animals about to cross the road and a "traffic light" alerts drivers to stop if a deer or moose are coming.
    I don't think it's perfected yet but it's sure to save many people and wildlife. One Chrismas eve I was driving to my aunt's and I saw a dead moose on the side of the road. I got a poetry book out of my trunk (about to be sold) and I read a poem to the moose.
    I know other people that carry some kind of Buddhist prayer beads and leave them with deceased animals as a kind of blessing. You sound like the kind of person who can appreciate that.

  2. Oh man, what a night! I'm glad you're ok! That drive was definitely a little too exciting. Poor deer, but also good to know it died instantly. What a strange experience with that guy..eep!

  3. Wow… I love the animal crossing stop light. Very cool. What's the range? Can they detect wide distances? Like a half mile radius? Otherwise it seems you'd need 5 million of them.I also love the idea of the prayer beads. I always pray for animals hit by the side of the road. I feel so bad for them and usually pray that it was so fast they did not have time to be scared or feel pain. It would be nice to leave them with something.

  4. I know… crazy… I just can't come up with a reason why he did it. It's one thing if he was trying to put the deer out of her misery, but that's not it. I don't get it. People can be such a$$holes. Cruel.

  5. Yeah I think about it sometimes and ideally I'd have a bunch of beads in my trunk wish I had time to weave such things!! USA Today had a nice article on the technology. The study is being done at Montana State University. Sorry to give you this long list but I beleive these are the studies being done.
    I can't find the original article but it should be in that list. Other studies there calculate the best way to avoid deer v car accidents. They may not need lots of infared cameras because scientists learn moose and deer migration routes and that's where they put those "moose crossing" and "deer crossing" signs usually. 🙂

  6. The cop was non-committal about whether or not he could/would do anything. But he definitely took down the plate number. If nothing else, if the guy gets in trouble for any other craziness, they could tack this on. From what I understand, I don't think he did anything illegal because the deer was already dead. Poor deer.

  7. I just hope it doesn't end up being one of those moments in some future investigation where the cops look back and say, "Always knew there was somethin' wrong with that boy…"

  8. Oh no, Shannon! That's so awful – and we've been in that same situation, too. Only, we were in a rental car and insurance works significantly less smoothly in that situation.

  9. Yes… the collision was on our Yellowstone trip! Our New Years was so totally uneventful. We considered having people over again, but in the end we decided to stay in, eat lots of cheese and go to bed early! How was yours?

  10. Lol… About the same, minus the cheese. Ha. I did go downtown to First Night for all of 15 minutes. It was so freaking COLD that I came straight home. Went to bed by 11pm. WooHoo! Exciting life.

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